Drinks and Toasts: Who Says What, and When

The traditional running order of UK wedding speeches is more specific than a lot of couples realise going in, which is useful to know both for planning your own day and for briefing whoever's speaking so nobody's caught off guard by an unfamiliar structure.

The traditional order:

1. Father of the bride (or whoever is hosting/giving the bride away, adapted as needed for your own family situation) - traditionally welcomes guests, and toasts the couple.
2. Groom - traditionally thanks the hosts, the guests, and the bridesmaids, and toasts the bridesmaids specifically.
3. Best man - traditionally the most informal, anecdote-heavy speech, and toasts the couple again.

This structure assumes a fairly traditional family setup and, notably, doesn't include the bride speaking at all - a convention that's shifted a lot in recent years. Plenty of modern UK weddings now include a speech from the bride, from both partners jointly, from a maid of honour alongside or instead of a best man, or a completely reordered lineup that fits the actual people and relationships involved rather than the traditional template. There's no obligation to follow the traditional order exactly - know it so you can deliberately choose to follow it, adapt it, or set it aside.

On toasts specifically: each speech traditionally ends with a toast to a specific person or group, and it's worth briefing speakers on who they're toasting so the room knows when to raise a glass - a genuinely easy thing to forget mid-speech under nerves.

On timing relative to the meal: speeches traditionally happen after the meal in England and Wales, though doing them before the meal (so nervous speakers can relax and actually enjoy their food afterwards) has become a popular and perfectly acceptable alternative. Decide this early and tell your speakers which format to expect.

Practical advice for whoever's organising: give every speaker a realistic sense of time expectations, and appoint someone - a toastmaster, the venue coordinator, or a confident friend - to actually introduce each speaker and keep things moving, rather than leaving the transitions to sort themselves out in the moment.